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Getting What You Want (instead of Doing What You Have To)

In 1921, Stanford University began studying children who had genius level IQs. They discovered that IQ or intelligence is not the most vital element for success. Rather, it is self-confidence, perseverance, and an inclination to set goals. In other words, the simple act of acknowledging and defining what we want to accomplish is more important to success in life than even a high IQ.

 

But goals are sometimes difficult to attain. And other times, they don’t feel satisfying once we accomplish them. Perhaps that’s because we often make our goals things we have to get done, instead of things we want to accomplish. There is no excitement, motivation or passion in a “have to”!! There is nothing compelling about a “have to”.

 

Perhaps if we could shift our ideas of goals from obligations into wishes - into dreams, limitless possibilities for ourselves and the world - we would have a much better chance of achieving our goals because we would be inspired and compelled to do so.

 

The best way I have learned to dream up new futures and exciting possibilities is by setting aside my fears (fears of not being successful, not having enough time, not having enough money, on and on…) and asking myself what my heart truly desires. So often, our fears prevent us from even recognizing what it is we really want. So, just for a moment, let go of the nay-saying voice inside of you, and dream big. Perhaps after that, you might re-adjust your wish so that it becomes realistic within the resources you have. Or perhaps…it doesn’t need any re-adjusting at all!

 

And then you’ll have a goal that’s not only compelling and worth pursuing, but that will feel satisfying and good once you achieve it.

Journaling Questions to Uncover Your True Desires

  1. What goals or priorities in your life right now are “have to”s, obligations, or expectations of others?
  2. What goals or priorities in your life right now drain your energy, leaving you tired or upset?
  3. Take a moment and put aside fears about time and money. In your wildest dreams, what do you want to accomplish in your life?
  4. Again, put aside fears about time and money for a moment. What’s something that you want to do, that you haven’t even fully admitted to yourself?

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Joanna Lindenbaum is a life coach, wedding officiant, and inspirational speaker.
She helps women in the following areas: work/life balance, career change, prosperity,
time management, creativity, leadership, and spirituality.

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