In my decade of being an entrepreneur, I’ve made a lot of mistakes.
Some have been mild, some bigger. And then there have been the handful of mistakes that could have been absolute deal-breakers for my business had I not corrected my course.
There’s one lesson in particular that I want to share with you today. It’s one that I have learned the hard way, and has left over-working and heart-ache in its wake:
Don’t try to make everyone like you.
(This includes community members, prospects, team members, partners, family members…even clients!)
If you’re anything like me, it’s pretty important to you that people like you, think you’re a good person, think you’re smart & good at what you do, and generally want to be around you.
In some ways, this desire can seem harmless, even recommended.
But here’s the truth: if you believe that everyone needs to like you in order to grow your business, you’re probably going to end up pretty miserable and not as successful as you could be.
Here’s why: If you are a woman who is on fire to speak your truth, serve your clients and committed to spreading your Sacred Message through your business, there is no possible way that everyone who comes across you and your work is going to resonate with you, like you and agree with how you’re doing things.
Taking that a step further — there’s just no way in general (entrepreneur or not) that everyone is going to like you. I’ll bet that even Mother Theresa had some haters.
Putting forward the effort to do whatever it takes so that everyone will adore you is a losing battle.
Not only that, but it is a totally exhausting exercise that usually leads you away from activities that are aligned for you, your business growth, and your happiness.
- If you write your newsletter so that everyone will like you and what you say, it will probably take you twice as long to find the right words, and you’re likely coming up with a watered-down version of what you really want to say, which won’t appeal as strongly to those who are meant to hear it.
- When you’re working with clients, if you aren’t honest with them about where you see they’re stuck because you’re scared they’ll get upset, your clients aren’t going to move forward.
- If joint-venture partners don’t follow through on commitments, if you’re scared to request they do because you don’t want to seem “uncool” for following up, then all the effort you’ve put towards that JV is wasted…and you end up feeling either angry or ignored.
- If you don’t take days off because you want folks to feel you’re there for them no matter what, your community/clients won’t necessarily feel more supported, but you’ll feel super-tired and resentful.
Instead of trying to make everyone like you, here are some tips to support you in true business growth and self-acceptance:
Work on Loving Yourself
When we really need for other people to like and admire us, it’s usually a sign that there may be something lacking in the Self-Love Department. Instead of putting forward lots of effort to fill the “never-really-full” well of feeling others like you, focus that energy towards loving yourself. It’s much more sustainable and long-lasting.
Focus on Folks who Want to Hear Your Message and Forget the Rest
When spreading your message and outreaching about your work, you’ve got 2 choices: focus on the folks that really resonate with what you have to say…or focus on convincing the folks that aren’t really into you that you’re valuable. Guess which one take is much more energizing and success-oriented?
Deliver Instructions, Requests and Feedback with Honesty and Love
Part of not needing to be liked is being able to cleanly and clearly ask your team, partners and personal support system (family, babysitters, friends) what you need of them…this also includes giving feedback & suggestions to your clients. I know it can be easy to get scared that you’ll piss someone off if you correct their work or ask them to take the kids so you can get stuff done, but if done with love and honesty, it will serve you (& them!) greatly.
So, as you move forward, I invite you to shift from “needing to be liked” to knowing that you are of full value and allow your true self to shine through!